I have only been doing this blog since January, and I have my first hater! I posted on my social media sites that I had started this blog on my weight loss journey and just the other day I received a reply from Twitter from a real Twit. I won’t even give their handle. Why give a naysayer a spotlight? What did he say?
“Maybe you should get on a cardio machine so you will have time to write about your life and more time to live it.” I could have been equally as rude but all I replied was “I do both and my life is just fine thanks.” Then I blocked him.
It is amazing how many people feel they have the right to say whatever they feel about your life journey. As it relates to weight loss, it kind of ties into what I said about FAT is the last acceptable prejudice.
That brings me to the point of today’s blog. Do you have naysayers or saboteurs in your life? Do people say or do things, even unintentionally, to throw your off your weight loss journey?
I am very blessed with a loving supportive wife and family, but not everyone has that. Often the biggest naysayers and saboteurs are family members. Sometimes they are uncomfortable with the changes, some just don’t get them and others fear their own insecurities. Maybe when you lose the weight, you will dump them for someone better? Maybe you will run away with your trainer? Who know, but you have to remember those issues are theirs.
There is a show on TV called My 600 Pound Life, about people struggling with being massively overweight and trying to lose it. I remember seeing an episode last season where a woman was trying to lose weight and her husband was trying to stop her. He likes larger women he said. While she was in the car, he made a point of going through the drive through and then saying to her “Oh this is so good. You should have some of this.” Another gem he said was “If you want salad, go out and graze in the front yard.” The good news is that I recently saw a follow up show and she decided to put herself first and packed his stuff and put him out. She said “At this point my health is more important than my marriage.” Am I in favour of people walking out on their marriage? No, but if someone is trying to kill you, it’s time someone has to go.
Then of course we have the friendly saboteur otherwise known as the Food Pusher. You know, those friends or family who constantly say “Oh have some more. 1 piece of cake won’t hurt you. You don’t want to get too thin”. You don’t have to be rude but you do have to learn to be firm. A firm but polite No Thank You should do it in most cases. If it doesn’t. tell them point blank that they are putting your health at risk. Some people need to have it put to them that bluntly. They mean well but they don’t realize (or maybe they do) how this can undo your weight loss efforts.
Sometimes naysayers are complete strangers like the Twitter idiot I experienced lately. People out of the blue will say things to you or about you (but usually loud enough for you to hear) that can cause you to just say “Aw forget this” and fall face first on a plate of cookies.
One of my saboteurs sits in my living room, and I even invited it in. It is the TV. Many years ago I worked in the addictions field, and some of my co-workers used to say you can’t be addicted to food. One of the challenges I would give them was to go home and when they watched TV at night, make a note of how many food commercials they saw – for restaurants, either sit down or fast food, or for cook at home foods, or delivery foods like pizza. How would someone who had a drug or alcohol problem feel if they saw booze commercials between every show? In the field, we called those triggers.
We seem to have developed a food crazy culture now. There are whole TV networks devoted to food and cooking shows. Chefs have become like rock stars. We have coined the term Foodie, and with all the review sites now, people think of themselves are experts when they review every place they eat. Groups of people go out to eat, and what is the first thing they do when the food arrives? Take pictures of it and share with on social media.
Now I have come to the most dangerous naysayer and saboteur of them all. This is the one who looks back you from the mirror, the one who whispers in your ear “Oh go ahead and have those cookies. No one will know.” It is the same voice that says “Oh you need to workout today. You deserve a day off.” Maybe yours says “Oh you will never get in shape. You have been trying for years and have had no success. What makes you think it will work this time?”
We are often out harshest critic in many parts of our lives, but it seems that when it comes to weight loss and healthy eating, we are the harshest. We often engage in “fat talk”. Remember your worth is not measured in pounds. Sometimes you have to just tell that inner critic to shut up!
How do you silence that inner critic? Sometimes you have to drown them out with your own positive affirmations, either verbally in your hear or by having positive affirmations posted around places where you will see them, including on the fridge door.
How do you deal with the external naysayers and saboteurs? Sometimes with a polite but firm No Thank You, sometimes but explaining how they are hurting you, sometimes but ignoring them and sometimes, when possible, you have to cut your losses and remove them from your life. This is particularly true with social media friends. Why? Because on social media people will often type things they would never say to your face. Drop them, delete them or block them, what ever it takes. Don’t feel you owe them an explaination because by the time you are ready to drop them, you are past explaining.
Harsh? Maybe but what is your health, your happiness and ultimately your life worth to you?
Until next time, have a healthy and happy day!